Still Searching

Anonymous, said… "How Has Love Changed Your Life?”:

I have faith in God…but I'm still searching the truth. There is so much to learn but still I'm ready to serve God, spreading His love to others.

Maybe because I'm still young, but in my lifetime the only time I felt God was around me is when I broke up with my first boyfriend. Everything was perfect; just how a first love seems to be. I tried to let my ex to accept Jesus Christ, but failed many times. It wasn't until he experienced the worst time in his life, he let Jesus in. I was truly glad for that. But then everything changed; we even broke up as girlfriend and boyfriend. The reasons were so blurry. I still can't figure out the exact reason we broke up? The only thing I could think of is God has plans for each of us.

After the break up, I felt so broken hearted, fatigued, and lost, at the same time I was having my final exams, while my parents were having conflicts, and big quarrels. I was the one who stuck in the middle, trying my best to mend the problems. I cried to my friends and they’d get annoyed. Everything hit me once. I felt so helpless. Until one day, while in bed during an insomnia attack I prayed to God, in hope that everything would be alright. While praying, I felt calm in my room. I felt as if someone was trying to comfort me and put me into dreams.

Gradually, my pain began to lessen and I can now get a good nights sleep. My parents are once again in love, and live happily together again.

Presently, I'm in a second relationship with my boyfriend. I feel as he is a gift from God. Yet, this relationship is unstable too. We are both Christian but from different teachings. We’ve broken up twice mainly, because of the fact that he couldn't walk away from his past. I prayed to God hoping for Him to lead my boyfriend and open his heart. God did. We’re now continuing our love journey. A long distance relationship is quite hard to maintain, but hopefully, it will last forever and ever. As God says, Love never fails.

I still remember; my boyfriend taught me this.
God is loving. He won't let anything bad happens on us. Draw yourself close to God, and he will draw close to you.

There is still so much to search to. Thanks God for guiding me everyday. Glory to Him.

Thanks who lead me here.

1 comment:

DoLLY said...

I guess it's a lifetime search, especially for those who desire meaningful lives. No need to fear though especially during the "darker" moments of searching because God always sees us through. ... It's nice to be back blogging. So many insights to learn from all of you!