Joe said... "How has Love changed your life?"
The Lord came into my heart at the age of 13. I remember leaving school early one day, because I hated my life. I was tired of fighting off the bullies. I hated the feeling of no hope, no way out, feeling nobody cared, if I was to live or die.
When I arrived at home I had already made the decision to die, so I went into me parents bedroom and took my dad’s gun from his night stand and then moved the guns safety into the off position. Preparing to die I began to cry out to God. Trying to justify my decision saying to Him; 'I'm someones mistake. Nobody wants me or loves me, I'm just a burden to everyone in my life. Why did you even allow me to be born?' My finial words to God were, 'I'm sorry Lord, I can't go on any longer please forgive me' and with a loaded gun just under my chin I pulled back on the trigger.
The gun didn’t fire! I then realized that the safety which was always left in the on position was somehow placed in the off position that day. So, when I thought I'd turn the gun's safety to the firing position I'd actually turned the safety ON causing the gun not to fire. I can't explain the situation with the gun's safety other than God's intervention.
All I can remember is at that moment which the gun didn't fire, I drop the gun and fell to my knee’s and busted out into tears crying out and pleading, “Oh God, please forgive me Lord.” I immediately felt the presence of what I now know as Holy Spirit coming upon me filling my heart with thoughts and words as if God himself was speaking directly to me telling me, “I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW!” As tears poured down my checks God spoke these thoughts upon my heart, that my birth mother didn't give me up for adoption because she hated me, but because she loved me so much that she'd made the sacrifice to carry me through to full term birth. The Lord said, to me, "I HAVE GREAT PLANS FOR YOU! Follow me and I'll be with you always".
Our Father is in Heaven. His Son Jesus Christ came into this world and died for OUR sins. The Holy Spirit is present here on Earth to help us daily. God loves us more than we’ll ever know. And if you don't already know His son Jesus pray to Him and ask Him to come into your life. He'll bear all your pain and burdens. I know...
Many years later when I made the decision to love the Lord my God with all my heart and with all my soul and with all my mind and with all my strength. I then found these verses in the Bible which are almost word for word the message which was placed upon my heart that fateful day when the gun failed to fire. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."Jeremiah 29:11-13 (NIV)
Moving forward last year (2010) through another miracle of God I was able meet both my birth mother (she's commented below) and biological father. Today, I share a relationship with them both. I now have children myself one of which has given birth to a child herself. Everyday, I thank God for all the love and miracles which he pours down upon all of humanity.
I pray for all women who are carrying one of God's tiny miracles in their womb and may be contemplating the life of their unborn child. I also pray for you if you're struggling, or hurting and contemplating God's decision for your own life hoping and praying that all the while you will come to realize and understand that, "GOD LOVES YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW!"